Hi, I'm

Nancy McFarland!

Podcast Host &

 Anxiety/Mindset Coach

A Client described me as a bulldog with a heart because I fiercely work to get people from overwhelmed, stressed and anxious to confident, peaceful and empowered as quickly as possible.

My Anxiety to Peace Story

I am around 8 years old when I tell my adopted mother at the kitchen table one morning that "he" (very close family friend) touches me and teaches me seduce truckdrivers on his CB radio.  

She said, “Just don’t go back over there”.  That was it.  She got up and continued to cook.

I felt a part of my soul leave my body, right then and there.  More parts felt like they were leaving all the time after that, particularly when she would pick up the receiver of the yellow rotary telephone, affixed to the wall right by the kitchen door, pretending to call the authorities to come and take me away when I was not being who she needed me to be-silent & obedient. I didn't know she was pretending all those times.

 

“God don’t like ugly”, she would sneer at me with such disdain and absolutely no insight.

I hated her, and I hated that I needed her.

Yes, I told others.  No, not one of my educated, religious relatives helped me, despite my crying & pleading.  No, not one helped me or offered me respite after my mother’s preacher husband molested me at 15 years old.  He was mean, and my family was afraid of Truth.

I still wonder how I survived and graduated from high school, considering the hell inside my house and family.  Actually, Mad Dog 20/20 was one I way I coped.

What I would truly learn over time, even about my adopted mother, is that each of us really wants to be free and happy but too few find their path to make it possible.  It's harder to live outside the box of how our families, communities and world teach us about our possibilities in this life, even for healing. Instead, we hurt/disappoint ourselves, which means we affect others in the same way.  The cycle usually repeats & repeats.

So, once I left home for college, my journey to freedom began, and I learned that it never ends! It would be many years later that I would learn that my hyperviligance, distrust/fear of love, poor boundaries, feeling tense, extreme insecurity were actually symptoms of anxiety from my unresolved trauma.  I didn’t even know I was anxious because the discomfort had just become completely normal.  It took a phenomenal therapist, a trained person outside my normal circle, to inform me about my own angst which primarily showed up in romantic relationships.  Yes, trust and boundaries were immensely perplexing concepts.

 

Once I finally understood that I lived ‘on edge’ inside relationships and experienced life as I did because of my history, patterns and beliefs about myself, I set out on a more focused journey. I really got to know myself better than ever. I made myself a priority in my own life by fully embracing my humanity, which meant actually acknowledging and accepting that I was born to experience a range of emotions and feelings!  This was a big deal, as you can imagine! This was new territor I also accepted and made many unfamiliar and healthy beliefs/behaviors - familiar in my life.  I then identified my values and what really mattered to me, realized my life vision and committed to living a life of impact. Today I live a life I am proud of and can far more easily scratch the itch of anxiety when it rears its head. 

I was fortunate enough to find my birthparents 25 years ago and was able to fill in a lot of gaps about my identify related to nature versus nurture.  I am immensely grateful for their openness to this day.  I was given up at birth because my mother was 17 and white, and my father was black. My birthmother named me Jennifer, but it was changed to Rebecca by my first caregivers, whoever they were.  Rumors were that they were nuns.  When I was adopted at 18 months old, my name was changed to Nancy.  

 

I have also made peace within myself about my 91 year old adopted mother and now am responsible for ensuring her care in an assisted living facility where she lives with advanced dementia.  I only maintain contact with a handful of first cousins from my adopted family now, and one is my best friend.

I know the journey to Becoming never ends and am so grateful to have my history to help others on theirs and am immensely appreciative to those who have and do coach & mentor me.

 

I know being human is really hard at times, but I feel that living a bit better in every situation is always possible. It does take patience and effort though.

 

As a psychiatric social worker, I’ve served the most acute mentally ill to very successful people who have felt lost, confused and even angry about the state of their lives.  

  

Now as an anxiety/mindset coach, and often cheerleader, I bring my educational and life knowledge over the past 25 years as a teacher and therapist along with my own journey of personal growth that includes living and studying abroad for 11 years.  I lived in Turkey, Australia, South Africa and the Republic of Congo.  Can you believe that I actually lived with no running water and electricity for 3 years in the Republic of Congo?  I did, and it was extremely anxiety provoking!

 

What I truly learned is that you take yourself everywhere you go, and human nature is shockingly consistent all over the world. Let's learn to appreciate what it means to be human.

So, who will you be when you have OUTED your anxiety and aligned your MINDSET with who you want to be in your life?  Who will you be when you begin to appreciate and direct your story?  How would it feel to be at peace, confident and proud of your life? 

 

My job is to get you there as soon as possible.  And, it is so possible.

"Circumstances don’t make the man, they reveal him to himself."

Epictetus

 

Let's Out

Your Anxiety Together

If you feel overwhelmed & anxious, you are not alone!

 

You just might be feeling:

  • alone because no one knows what you really go through

  • overwhelmed because you feel lonely or rejected often

  • worried about failing at work and in your relationships

  • consumed with what others think about you

  • worried about worrying so much

  • shut down because you are afraid to get too close

  • like others are always better at doing everything

  • not feeling good enough

  • embarrassed for drinking, spending, eating so much to alleviate stress

 

If this sounds like you, then it may be time to reach out for support and guidance.  As your coach, my commitment is to guide you in accessing and deeply cultivating your sense of self so that you live a peaceful life.

 

As a result of our work, my clients:

  • feel relaxed and grounded amid challenges

  • become secure and comfortable connecting emotionally with loved ones

  • develop self-assurance to be effective in life

  • consider positive outcomes for a change

  • experience confidence of own worth

  • cultivate capacity to respond to stress/anxiety and respond healthier ways

  • believe in being good enough

  • release unhealthy habits and adopt fierce self-care

  • achieve what really matters at work and home

  • live a calm, empowered and peaceful life

1:1 Sessions

Half-Day Intensive

 

You are committed to doing the work and ready to change your life.  You know change can be very challenging since you will be making the unfamiliar, familiar in your life step by step (with as many leaps & bounds you can handle!)

There is a 4 month minimum, and it is really the minimum requirement to make powerful, enduring change.  Remember, you will be establishing new beliefs & behaviors that will create new possibilities for your life!

Overview

  • Two 1 hour sessions per month

  • Worksheets & templates to complete

  • Secure billing & communication platform

  • Direct messaging

  • Accountability on goals

 

  • via Secure Online Platform

If you are worried about a specific situation, presentation, project or decision and are committed to moving forward with confidence, an intensive session provides the necessary attention for discovery and clarity.

 

Empower yourself, and approach your situation or challenge with insight and confidence.

 

Overview

  • Review Intensive Session Packet you submitted, and get clear on goals/intentions for the day (5 hours)

  • Dig into what’s happening

  • Break 

  • Establish solutions 

  • Wrap-Up with integration of insights and gained clarity

 

  • via Secure Online Platform

what clients are saying...

Where do I begin?  From work dynamics, to personal things, Nancy has an amazing sense of awareness and insight. No matter what the challenge was, she ALWAYS reminded me of the importance of taking care of myself.

 

I learned that no matter the outcome, I do have a voice and utilizing it is liberating.

 

Nancy always motivated me to pursue my desires while staying true to self.

 

Her constant reassurance that “I am exactly where I need to be” has helped me to view life through a more hopeful lens and life changed as a result!

Mel R.

 

outing anxiety

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